we wander (AKA after drinking sangria w/ Lizz)

We wander
Across the barren landscape of our own selves
Lost to the wind blowing through a world we perceive as near dead and yearning for resuscitation
We wander
We being those who share only a generation born into
combined with a thorough and profound lack of self
We can’t find ourselves
So we wander
Through our lives with eyes turned down from the sunlight
Can’t keep a level gaze at the horizon before us
It seems too far off for us to reach in one life spent squandered on the empty words our souls belch forth to keep us moving
Forward
Calloused heels and broken toenails our benchmarks of experience
Blistered feet bleeding beneath the weight of a soul like iron
Contained in a body of mere flesh yet so heavy
Each step seems to drag us farther into the planet
So we must keep moving
Pacing the steps of our life along lines of spoken contradictions
And unspoken promises to the self we still search for
So walk with me
Hand in hand
To the horizon so far off we refuse to acknowledge
Yet keep plodding one foot in front of the other towards
like the final destination will give us the answer we’ve been waiting for
Our entire lifetimes
Entire lifelines of generations forgotten though they stand right before you
Eyes glazed and dried spit-spattered lips mouthing the same lies our own mimic
When the end of your journey seems so bright you won’t look up at it
So we talk to our feet
Bruised and bleeding
Beneath sneakers battered to shreds through the strife of our life’s travels
But continue we must
Into the blistering of the sun burning away leathered skin like epiphany to writer’s block
Peel back the surface and stare forward with no eyelids
Because if one never faces their future they won’t know how to reach for it
Clutch it
In palms cut too deeply the scars never discolor
Garish crimson
Staring back at us every time our eyes continue their inevitable downward journey into our hands
Like the tears we won’t let hit ground can soak into our broken hands and renew us
Like existence would let you pause for a moment if it knew you were trying to hide weakness
But it never will
Biting at our heels
Teeth gnashing at the bits of our selves trailing behind us when we don’t walk fast enough
Or wander far enough
To try and meet the horizon when walking blindly forward
Keep moving
Wrapping arms around self and holding tightly
Like it’s the only way to keep it together
Speak louder
Whether face towards floor or eyes open embracing the bright skyline stinging at tear-soaked cheeks
Let it warm you
The acceptance of your own doubts and insecurities
The knowledge of not only your imminent mortality but the instruments that hail the inevitable final chapter of you
Use them to write the lines walked upon daily to continue towards what you know lies ahead
Just past the end of your vision
Just past the horizon
Just after that last step taken
Eyes to the ground
Hands interlaced at the end of arms encircled tightly around ourselves
Hold yourself up
Even if your chin won’t raise to face the day keep holding yourself up
Above feet battered and blistered
Plodding each step towards whatever may be
You won’t know what it is until you face it
Open your eyes and face it
And take hold of your life’s path
Between criss-cross scarred palms and direct it
Be beacon to others still searching for the sky under rocks they kick over
Let the light of not only a new day but the million more to follow guide you
To the zenith of this generation’s desire to be fulfilled in something more than simplicity
Complicity can kill you
But in order to beat a path past
You must break down every bit of yourself first
Before you can rebuild
Bathed in the sun
Smiling at the sky
Eyes open and shedding tears for the welcoming of a new day
Not wandered to
But knowingly traveled to
With feet calloused but no longer bleeding