in praise...

if i could find another way to thank you i would
if tearing my heart out on stage just to show how full you've made it would prove my case
i'd dig deep with both fists filling palms in praise of all of you
but instead, i'd just like to say 'thank you'
for making my wednesday nights more than words echoed back by the bare walls of my apartment
for filling the floor of the Lobby and the halls of my memory
and even if i only ever get to know you at a glance while on stage spittin
know that every word written, is for you
so never listen to a poet say they don't need an audience
because if it wasn't for you
i'd have never found myself to place myself in the position y'all applaud weekly
found the strength to speak freely
found my pen moving easily to the beat of the words i've found needing me
and i need y'all to keep feeding me
cuz each scream released is a reason for me to keep breathing
and keep speaking
til my lips crack and start bleeding
til my throat chokes and each spoken word is creaking
til i'm losing my balance and leaning
on mic stands, cuz i'm feelin this night man
it's hurtin so good cuz it's right man
so if i reel from the lights and keel over tonight
know that my lifespan exists from the time when you listened to my pen's written assigment to fly to the heights and glide like a kite when i picked up the mic and started performing
to the moment you finished applauding
and if i only live within the span of your appreciation
i'll gladly burn out like a pheonix leaving only cinders and smoldering pages behind as reminders
on a stage painted with the ashes of a poet who didn't know just how to thank you
and i'm not here to educate the masses or free minds and gift knowledge
i'm not here to tell you what causes to pump fists to
what banner to rally troops behind
or what wars to wage, domestic or internationally
because frankly, i'm just a poet
not a prophet
role model for the chain-smoking barfly pushing thirty but not ready to fall off yet bored to near apathy american youth crowd
and we're always taking new members
just sign up with a pen dug deep enough beneath skin to chip bone
and when you've finally recited your second or third poem
when tonight feels like you've wandered your whole life without a place to call home
until tonight
we'll count you as one of the veterans
membership is a only a few shed tears and a cracked voice away
so act now, while attention spans last