my prayer for 2006

now i'm not a religious man
but i found myself leaving my last show praying
one hand clasped around the mic stand
the other open
touching nothing more than God's breath
see blessings are never farther away than an open palm
and a few thankful verses
so let this be my prayer for 2006
i walk past a block full of homeless and sick
sleeping in abandoned business entrances
to find my way home
past the salesmen pushing boulders to crush souls on 5th St and 3rd Ave
they call them rocks around these parts
shaking handfuls of pebbles at passerby hoping to convince at least one more
a day to climb that mountain
i pass the apartments of people twice my age and ten thousand times my
experience
near broken behind hollow doors that can't stifle the silence of their lonely
last days on the planet
i walk past life
that's the only way to continue
focus on your final destination
and where you've come from
let the carnival whirl on around you
and pay it no mind
just tithe it a thought on pad and paper after the fact
make it a memory in words
remind any ear who will listen that beneath the bottom they've hit calling it
rock bottom
is an even deeper rock bottom to fall to
words are like armor
shielding poets from the reality around them
but not quite well enough to save them
that's become our own job
when we're knee deep in the trenches of sorrow and sinking deeper
there's only our own arms available to pull us up
muscles tensed and burning, fingertips digging so deep into hope
we mold it into a thin silver safety line
pull harder now poet
drag yourself into the new year with bloody palms and nothing
but your own grim determination saving you
clamber onto the next day like the ground beneath will fall out
and leave you with no foothold to stand on
and empty air to plunge down into
unless you survive long enough to speak the next poem
clenched between your teeth
bite down harder now poet
grind words to dust and inhale deeply
like the next few are the only sentences suitable to survive on
breathe deeper now poet
speak like there's fire in your belly
pronounce each statement clearly and powerfully
fill the room with the thunder of your breath made poetry
plant your feet on stage
like it's earth to take root in
grip mics like bark grown decades over the nails driven into your trunk
mercilessly
use each cut, each scar,
each bloody lip and bitten tongue ever suffered
any moment in your life you've been stricken silent
load each breath with lead
like the bullets fired from those so jealous they have to answer in screams
every whisper uttered trying to better yourself
pack each pointed paragraph with all the intensity you contain
and speak up louder now poet
let free the frustrations holding your wits at knife's edge
threatening to slice so deep you can't be sewn back together
let your voice bring down the heavens like God isn't listening
so your prerogative is to supply her a front row seat
and no option but to hear you
love harder now poet
that deems repeating
LOVE HARDER NOW POET
like family, friends and community are the foundation you're built upon
like respect of a fellow performer is the only support left for your head to rest
high on
hold loved ones close and those you truly love even closer
offer them understanding and strong shoulders to cry on
even if the weight of their worries is so much it may break you,
endure these tragedies for your strength will pass onto them
and the day you find yourself shattered against the sharp rocks of real life
they will be standing at the foot of the cliff waiting
scooping up your broken fragments
and gluing them together with the tears you tried to help them stop crying
pray harder now poet
make each breath your tithing to a loved world and a willing God
so that, God willing, this world will return that love back to you
this is my prayer for the year recently gone by
and many more to follow
keep speaking freely now poets
and keep loving harder now poets
and for love of free speech
i'll be seeing you next year
for my next prayer