swallow

today i've decided to weep words instead
let verse run down the palm of my hand and catch it
rivers running through pens like wet ink will dry the tears i'm determined not to shed
and applying to pages the pain jabbing at my eyes demanding to drink flowing water will wash away my thoughts and leave me adrift on the sea of inspiration
just trying to fill this empty space inside with volume
like the rushing of wept words can drown out the screams i'm holding in the back of my throat
taking shots to choke it back like it's the only antidote
but ask any poet for truth and they'll tell you
poured libations can only fill so long before you find yourself parched again
empty bottles don't yield enough refund to payback the expense of making them so
and no matter how many pens run dry or pages get filled
we remain thirsting for enough spit to fill that empty space inside
with volume
let crash together the torrents of your frustrations like empty ears are decanters and nothing but your words can fill them so we all might drink together
spend your last breath swimming through the ocean of each day reaching for the surface
and when you've finally come above the crushing weight of life trying to drown you inhale that first breath deeply
and swallow
be filled with the bounty of simply surviving
if only to weep words and spit verses
emptying ourselves just to remain thirsty for that next day's first breath
now swallow
just be filled with just being here
like life itself is water
knocking it back in double and triple pour doses
drowning empty gullets to the fill line
then swallow
give me pain on the rocks with a heartbreak chaser and two shots of uncertainty
smacking the table and shouting
like god's a bartender and tonight
she's pouring real heavy
lining up glasses so i can fill palms to empty them
and swallow
immerse me in existence if only to ride the highest crests and dive to its lowest depths
keep my vision blurred like staring out from a street puddle during a rainstorm
keep me staggering drunk so i can sway like the current at nighttime
weaving back and forth
and if i crash like tidal waves into empty space
then let me fall freely
full of life poured lavishly